Funeral Rain Press Corps

First off, I’d just like to say that I have been a fan of Alestorm since Captain Morgan’s Revenge and it is a straight up honor to be able to send ya’ll some questions.

Nice one! No problem dude.

I’ve got to ask about the You Suffer-ish meets Anti-Procrastination Song-y track, Rumpelkombo. Umm… what was that? Aside from fun, of course.

Right, a couple of years ago, we supported the band Grave Digger on a european tour. And it fucking sucked. Basically, that band is the complete opposite of us: old, grumpy, teetotal, never talk to their fans, and don’t party at all. So they were raging at us the whole tour for being badass dudes. After the tour, in an interview, their singer called us a “Rumpelkombo”, which basically means “rowdy bunch of retards” in germanish. So we wrote a song for him, and credited the lyrics to him. Every few months he’ll get a royalty statement for about 5 cents with our name on it, so he can never forget us :).

The members of Alestorm all have experience in other bands that play completely different genres (I.e., black metal, death metal, folk metal, etc…). A lot of that came out in Back Through Time, especially in Death Throes Of The Terrorsquid. Is there a chance that we’re going to see more of this genre melding madness (while still remaining True Scottish Pirate Metal, of course) in future albums?

Yeah, definitely thinking to expand Alestorm beyond this straight up folk/power metal hybrid that appears on our current stuff. I’m still writing 99% of the music, so maybe if the other guys wanna have a go at writing something, more mad influences might come out. We shall see. Ironically, I wrote the extreme-metal sections of ‘Death Throes’ when I was 12 years old… maybe I can get back into that mindset and write some more!

How has the critical response to Back Through Time been so far? I know the fan response is going to be something along the lines of thorough elation.

Not really seen many serious/detailed reviews yet. I’m sure everyone serious is going to hate it. I bet “the kids” will love it, and anyone who knows how to party like a badass dude. It’s badass dude party music.

Are there any plans for a grandiose stage show, complete with a frigate to board, giant squid tentacles and maybe a rival group pirate to beat down? Because… that’d be awesome.

Ha! Who’s paying for this then? We’ve only just invested in a backdrop with our logo on it! Our current plan is to get a tiki bar on stage staffed by some roadie, who will make us cocktails all through the show. Also a couple of cannons with flamethrowers in them. That’d be cool.

The live footage on the Special Edition of the Black Sails At Midnight shows you all to be a bunch of fun loving bastards. How true to life is that assumption? Do you guys have any over the top stories from the road to share?

The best stories are the ones that you can’t remember the next morning because you were pissed off your skull. Far too many hot tub parites, far too many broken limbs from baggage trolley races, and a couple of incidents of drinking drano. Not really recommended.

I take it that Scrapping The Barrel was dedicated (at least a portion of it) to the pricks that think that Alestorm is dead in the water? Do you guys really take on that much negative criticism to warrant a scathing retort?

Hah the criticism doesn’t bother me, it’s just the head-thumping annoyance of people who completely miss the point of what we’re about and don’t “get it”. Half the world hates us because we dress up as pirates, the other half hates us because we don’t dress up as pirates. Some people hate us because we are copying running wild, others hate us because we aren’t copying running wild. If people gave us criticism that was actually interesting and not just shitty lazy journalism, i’d be a much happier guy!

As far as I can tell, EVERY Alestorm song is a fan favorite. But, which do you believe is the song that gets all of the heads bangin’?

Awesome dudes love Keelhauled, and hot babes love Wenches and Mead. We love them all!

Mandatory Stupid Question: Sea-Borne Sodomy? How often is too often?

Three hours of torrid anal per night is what we recommend.

Is there anything you’d like to add for the Funeral Rain audience?

Eat Scottish Beef.

Thank a fucking million! I’ll see you guys when you come to Portland in September! Alestorm fucking KILLS!!!

Party on Garth!

First off, congratulations on making Doombound such an epic piece of metal! …not that there was any doubt. Heh.

Thanks! It sure is an awesome album! A bit different from our previous works.

Battlelore has had a constant theme of Tolkien running through your albums (not that I’’m complaining). So… what happens if the Middle-Earth well of lyrical inspiration runs dry? What’s next? R. A. Salvatore? Terry Pratchett? Brian Jacques?

Actually you may say that Middle-earth is just a frame for our music. It is not like that when we have wrote a song about LotR, Silmarillion and Hobbit we’re out of ideas. We don’t need to write from the most obvious things. How about a thoughts of a lonely warrior in Angmar? How does a starry sky looks like when an Ent looks it? How a bout a sunrise on a lake of Rhûn? What are the secret desires of Mouth of Sauron? The well of ideas is endless. If we would only stay in the theme of the One Ring, then the ideas could dry out, but there’s a whole world Tolkien has made so it is all about us and our imagination.

Has Battlelore won any awards or possibly gained any notoriety from the non-metal community due to your content?

Hahaha! No, we haven’t won any awards or so and I haven’t heard any notoriety from the disco-heads either. Of course some people may think that our whole band is just a big joke, but isn’t it like that with every band? You don’t just have to take everything too seriously. In the end this is all just an entertainment to us and to our fans like all music is.

How has the press buzz been so far for Doombound? Or is it too early to ask that? I was a little over-zealous…

The buzz is rising.. So far it has been quite easy, but I’ll bet that January will be quite busy time with the promoting and interviews..

You know, I see you guys in your promo photos and video interviews and whatnot and I can’t help but imagine that you are a fun loving bunch. So tell me, which one of you is the biggest prankster? I know at least one of you is always making life comically harder for everyone else! Hehe.

I don’t know about the real pranks, but my brother Henkka (drums) is quite “bad” from his mouth, hahaha! A real joker! Also Honkman (bass) is kind of a guy that if you don’t know him, you’ll probably think that he has forgot to take his medicines. We are quite easy going group and we like to have a good time and laugh a lot and maybe sometimes we might drink a beer or two too hahahah!

After Doombound’s release, there is bound to be a tour, right? You know, the U.S. is lovely this time of year… namely the Pacific Northwest (HINT HINT).

Nothing’s confirmed yet, but the band is really waiting the summer festivals. Today it would not make sense to tour over seas by our selves, so it would need a good package of bands to make a nice US tour!

Speaking of tours, if you could assemble a tour of your own with a theme of Epic Fantasy Metal, who would be touring along side of you guys?

Blind Guardian, Summoning, Finntroll, Moonsorrow and Battlelore. I don’t know if Moonsorrow and/or Finntroll fits under the slogan “Epic Fantasy Metal”, but those are the bands I would like to tour with! Unfortunately Summoning won’t do any gigs, but the question was hypothetical..

During your live shows, have you guys ever wanted to have a giant Green Dragon puppet that breathed smoke that one of you could slay on stage? Or maybe some guys dressed as Orcs raid the stage only to be beat down by the band? …because I think that’d be awesome.

The raid of orcs and elves have crossed my mind, but the dragon would be out from our budget! But, if we would get totally free hands for our live shows, why not! Mount Doom, Nazguls and dragons, orc army and elven archers, stonehenge and dancing dwarves, all together hahahahah!!!

Is there anything you would like to add for the Funeral Rain audience?

Have a great new year 2011 and keep your horns up for metal!

Battlelore Official

Where did the name Titarius come from exactly? Something about astrology and the periodic table?

Alex and Erik came up with the name after our first few practices. Erik said we had to have a constellation and Alex said we had to have a metal, so from Sagitarius and titanium came Titarius.

Is there a particular theme you all are going for in your music?

Yes, the theme we’re trying to go for is music for people that like metal as a whole as opposed to people who like to stick with one specific sub genre of metal. Like grindcore, thrash, death, etc.

How do you guys best describe your sound?

Blender Metal. or The sexual act of eating fruit loops.

How did you guys manage to convince Gunner Dhillon to join your outfit?

Peer pressure and a six pack.

Aside from Gunner’s work with Motorbreath, do any of you have any other side projects? If not, are you all open to ideas?

Gunner and Erik are starting a side project where Gunner is playing guitar and singing and Erik is playing drums.

Do you all have a favorite venue to tear up?

The BAMF house and the Red Room.

Do you guys have a particular set of goals in mind? Like a label you have your eye on? Or maybe something a bit smaller?

To play shows and get drunk and see what happens.

Who drinks what when you’re waiting to go on stage?

Jordan – Dead guy
CJ – Arrogant Bastard
Alex – Dead guy
Erik – Mirror Pond
Gunner – Long Island

Is there a full length release in Titarius’s future?

There is but it’s untitled right now. We’re working on a name. Sometime in the future. Also CJ says he’ll “give all your mom’s full length releases”!

Is there anything you’d like to add for the E-MetalSpace & Funeral Rain audience?

Eat pussy!

So, Mary’s Abortion… going for the classy crowd, were you?

With the name I wanted to project the message & image rolled into one before you hear a single chord or verse let alone song..

To me the name is as Edward Norton would say in American History X “This means not welcome”.. I don’t want their to be any misconceptions on what we are about.. I don’t want the mainstream crowd or some Christian kids coming to our shows & then thinking “I liked them until they started badmouthing my beliefs”.. I want everyone to assume what they’re in for at least.

How would you describe the metal that you all play? Genre or otherwise?

I like to look at it as majorly blackened death metal influenced by sometimes the speed of thrash & the unrelenting brutality of grind… but also /w/ some accessible parts from what’s (I’d hate to say mainstream but..) more well known in metal… but the heavier bands you hear of that most fans of metal know (Devil Driver, newer Chimaira, Lamb Of God)… We are basically an Extreme metal band.. We have varied aspects but we like to stay pissed off & keep it as heavy & fluid as we would for a show.

With Mary’s Abortion’s turbulent history, was that there a lesson to be learned? Or was it all just a bunch of unfortunate happenings?

There was a LIFE lesson learned man. I’ve been through friendships because of this band… it was the springboard to show me a lot of people’s unreliability, & no matter how tight you were as friends or “are” for that matter you just can’t keep giving chances & assuming things will be different.

If someone doesn’t put forth the effort you’ve got to simply let them go.. they’ll just anchor a ship you want to sail..

But to elaborate, some people just didn’t have the time initially but they overall never had the devotion. I personally am an extremist. If I want to pursue something I absorb myself & their’s no half assing involved. But these people just wanted the glory of being in a band /w/ none of the work.

Once I moved on I realized it was more than just for the band but I couldn’t have these people in my life anymore, & I couldn’t make excuses for them anymore whether it be in this band or my personal life.

Who would you say are your biggest influences?

Musically I’d have to say Morbid Angel is the biggest by far, Goatwhore, Watain, Marduk… so on & so on …but then visually I’d say 1970′s era Church Of Satan rituals, any type of sacrilegious horror movies.. A lot of stuff based in the occult…

Now, lyrically their is an underlying positive message… sure it’s opposing religion but it’s also for those afraid to say they do not believe or those saying they are Christian (or whatever denomination) /w/out believing but only out of knowing they’ll be accepted for it & looked at as a horrible person if they said they in fact don’t believe in this corrupt belief system..

It’s for them to possibly be there empowered with like minded individuals & to possibly give them strength or insight through what I’m saying as possible ammunition or rebuttals or knowledge to back up their own views.

Is the metal scene around your neck of the woods bountiful? Or is West Virginia as dull as it seems (in terms of metal support)?

Well for awhile their seemed to be bands popping up out of every nook & cranny, but we
all know this is not a particular good thing… Some are fucking horrible (or were).. Alot of the so called scene fizzled out, but in local music in general it is it’s own monster.. their’s alot of shit out there but metal is a smaller crowd outnumbered by the hippies & hipsters & reggae fans & country folk & everyone stuck in the 90′s still calling things “grunge” & “alternative”..

Sadly Byzantine who had some great success called it quits, but their’s still bands like Karma To Burn & they are becoming this LEGEND status which is really exciting I feel for anyone from West Virginia that is a fan.

I think the support is here but just more scattered & less organized…

Does Mary’s Abortion have any demos or whatnot circulating?

Sadly no… by now if I knew all the obstacles I would encounter throughout the almost 10 years of trying to get this tangible I would’ve fired everybody & just learned how to play everything myself during that wait. But I suppose at least by learning the hard way you become more cautious so that it doesn’t repeat… plus I’m working /w/ killer people right now & it works for what I had in mind all along.

If you could get anyone to do cover art for a release of yours, who would you nab and what would you have them draw?

Actually I already have the people I wanted for the cover as soon as we come up /w/ all the money to do it… Chad Ward from Digital Apocalypse & Crash (the model from Godsgirls I believe).. I can’t say much about the cover but people are going to shit themselves when they see it.. it definitely lives up to our name.

But otherwise if H.R. Giger would actually create something new & to specifications that would be awesome, or anything collaborative with Paul Booth would be amazing as well.

Does Mary’s Abortion have any bitchin’ live performance stories?

Well regretfully no due to people’s unwillingness to actually treat it as a band in the past… But where that never happened the lifestyle was that of all 3 Pantera home videos combined.. I do not shit you this… We all consumed so much alcohol back then it was the thing of urban legend!

I remember once between me & the original drummer alone killing roughly 30 some beers a piece on top of splitting a BIG bottle of Crown Royal… when I say big I mean the ones /w/ the handle in the back.. that big…

I always wondered how I didn’t die.. & I lived like this , we all did for months on end… starving but somehow being in a continuous stupor… their were crazy nights of fighting, to jail visits, to public sex /w/ chicks, everything you could expect…

Put it this way.. if that 1st line up succeeded their would have to be 3 Behind The Music Specials on it because I don’t think any of us would’ve survived the experience.

Who’d win in a fight: Hedonism Bot or Zombie Jesus?

Zombie Jesus hands down! I’m partial because for 2 years straight before anyone ever annexed those words together I dressed up as “Zombie Jesus” for Halloween.. gore & all.. I love that outfit..  ’07 & ’08 I believe… plus zombies are the most badassed horror creations EVER!..

Is there anything you’d like to add for the E-MetalSpace & Funeral Rain audience?

uhmm sure… Although their is nothing posted on our page musically their will be. We are working on stuff now & trying to have something on the Funeral Rain Records Compilation before the deadline.. something that’ll preview our album.. which is very likely.. we are also having session drumming on this album from a legend amongst Death Metal.. an innovator.. I won’t give that info up yet but.. think of possibly your all time top 5 death metal drummers & I guarantee you he’s in that list.

Anyways thank you to E-MetalSpace & Funeral Rain & to anyone generally who took the time out to read this interview. For more information about us add us on MySpace www.myspace.com/marysabortion & in the immortal words of Mr. Phil Anselmo… “Eat Pussy ’til your jaw breaks!”

SIN:JoRdAnHeStOn

I haven’t seen a single Nekro Drunkz promo sticker anywhere lately (in Portland crapper stalls or otherwise). What gives?

Tall Can Dylan The Disgustor & Pus Blood Commands: Shit man we just got classy vinyl stickers made up after all this time! I know it’s comforting to see our shitty logo when you’re taking the Browns to the Superbowl in Fred Meyers or Jack In The Box, and trust me we will get there one day, There’s only two of use it takes dedication to plaster up them dumper stalls!

As far as composing goes, who does what?

Its 50/50. We basically come up with a perverted lyrical theme and go from there. Because without filth and sleaze the Nekro Drunkz would just be another dumb political garbage grind band…. LESS POLITICS MORE PORNOGRIND!!

You guys got any demos or whatnot coming out any time soon?

Actually we have a lot of shit on the horizon! Were going to record our first full length over at the Roadkill Carnivore House, and then Hystoplasmosis Records out of Maryland are going to press them up. Then we have a long list of split CDs & tapes to release, all that boring info about stuff you bastards will never buy is up on our shitty MySpace page. I suggest you buy a tape… why you ask? Cause they are easier to fit in your girlfriends asshole…well I guess I don’t know your old lady maybe she’s a CD kinda girl hahaa!!

Dude, I could shove a .45 in there sideways after I’m finished with her brown… So, what’s the Nekro Drunkz groupie rape count up to now?

We’ve been Rape Thrash Grindin’ for awhile now… lost count at all the dumb whores who took our nasty syphilitic sperm explosions!

Play any kick ass shows lately that ended in arson or necrophilia?

No!!! And what’s up with that you fuckin’ panty waist fuckos?? Get out there with some dead bodies and some fire and make the Satyricon the home of Necrophiliac Arsonisnts (Good new song title hahah) (Agreed! – Typhon) National Gathering, and then we will have a real metal show! But we have been banned from the Morgue in Seattle due to my potty mouth and their lack of a sense of humor! (Gay!!! – Typhon) My other band Compulsive Slasher was banned from that stupid Pepper’s Bar in Vancouver for making fun of these stupid metalcore homos, Betrayed By Weakness… I mean, can’t you read the name and just think, those guys must be fags!

Do you two insidious bastards have a favorite venue to defile your audience at? And do you dig basement shows better than stage shows?

Well, Satyricon always treats us pretty nice, I mean if they let Anal Blast and The Mentors and Truculence play there then they must be pretty laid back haha, plus the sound dude Joel does a great job! But also we played the Crypt out on Powel and I got shit hammered wasted and we played a good show surprisingly, and some stupid broad said fuck you while we were playing and i told her to go fuck off somewhere!

Classic! Does the fact that Nekro Drunkz is a duo pose any problems when you guys are playing live?

Disgustor: Negative. Nekro Drunkz booze soaked tampon death rituals will always only be me and Squid Nasty The Fag Basher. We don’t need to wait for another idiot up there giving us his stupid feedback & to tune his dumb bass guitar. TWO PEICE TERROR METAL!!!

Well put. Any luck in hogtieing and molesting Gianna Michaels yet?

This is why doing interviews with you is always a good time! HAHA, I wish man, if we ever see her you can rest assured that there will be molesting, hopefully she will be on her period so I can get her tampons and make a shrine on my drum set. You all should write her telling her she should quit the porn industry and just be the Nekro Drunkz live dancer… that broad is filthy i love it!

If you could hollow out a cadaver of a famous grindgod and use it in anyway you wanted, who would it be and what would you use it for?

This is obvious but Unfortunate. Don Decker!! I think it would be awesome to have Decker’s Corpse hollowed out and used as a beer refrigerator, THINK OF ALL THE STORAGE ROOM!!! All that aside it sucked to see that fat bastard died, Anal Blast is definitely a big influence for us, RIP Darth Decker.

Do you guys have any merch out (other than stickers)? Patches, beer cozies, Nekro Drunkz brand roofies? Etc…

While you wait for our roofies to be approved by the FDA, we have two splits out, one with Grim Raper (Limited to 50 red CDs) and one with Pus from the Bay Area — $5 for each or $7 for both, or if you come to our show I’ll be drunk and let you have them for way cheaper! Dude you should pay for our beer cozies to be made though, you know you wanna! Haha

Dude, I just might! Is there anything you’d like to add for the E-MetalSpace/Funeral Rain audience?

YOUR ALL A BUNCH OF SCUM! Thanks again for supporting us Chase, you sick metal devil! I’d like to send thanks/shout out to: Spellcaster, Truculence, Ceremonial Castings, Cemetery Lust, Goatsoldiers, Insanity, Scorched Earth, Mark/Impetigo, Reeker, Compulsive Slasher, Bunk Dope, Extirpatients, Bastardo, Lt. Dan, Hystoplasmosis Records, Repulsive Discharge Zine, The Slut Killers, Dickless Tracey, M.R.S.A., Justin/Altar Of Thrond & All the other Salem Metal freaks, Satyricon, Taco Bell and anyone else who has supported our sick foul shit hole band!

And I’d like to say fuck off/no thanks to : Betrayed By Weakness, Pepper’s Bar in Vancouver, all the PC Metal/Punk fags from Portland, Your mom…. for not putting out, The Sway Bar, All the shitty cocksucking bull shit bands from Lincoln City, Newport, Tillamook and Medford Oregon, Almost Is Nothing, Taco Bell for not being open at 4 a.m. & for giving me mud butt, and Hunab Ku for having such a stupid ass name!

DRINK FUCK DIE!