Funeral Rain Press Corps

Genre: Progressive, Psychedelic, Acid Rock
Label: Independent 

Man, having a baby really fucks up your schedule! I’ve been sitting on this review for so long, that Masonic Weird has changed their name to Martyred Whitmans since asking me to review their demo, Manic And Self Medicated! Apologies all around.

As soon as this demo started up, I was reminded of a band that I review waaaaaay back with E-Metal Reviews called To The Bones. I went a little overboard with praise on that review since it was my first real experience with the progressive/psychedelic sub-genres and to this day, it still creates a massive erection in my trousers whenever I’m allowed to review anything from said genres. And now that you can’t unknow that, I’m please to say that Masonic Weird’s demo is a “boner”-fied piece of doom-y progression! If you’re not familiar with To The Bones, then maybe the comparison of The Sword (sans the poser tag) meets Earth might raise an eyebrow or two (I know it did for me as I wrote that).

Now, I’ve read some reviews about this band in the past that didn’t paint them in the best of lights, so I’ll be honest and say that I wasn’t really looking forward to it… how quickly we remember not to believe everything we hear/read/see on T.V.! Seriously, I’d like to know who those guys were listening to when they wrote those reviews? Because I’m positive that it wasn’t Masonic Weird! There’s nothing “hipster” about this music! Sure, pot helps… it helps with EVERYTHING! And who the fuck isn’t gonna toke up when they’re listening to doom or prog?!

Braking down the instrumentation, the riffing is exceptional! You’re not really sure where you’re going to be lead next, but that don’t matter since it’s constantly exciting more than what you were expecting. The bass in Manic And Self Medicated is perfect. Perfect. The mixture or doom and progressive styles pretty much just left the bass roam free. The freest I’ve ever heard a bass be, in fact. In my opinion, this is some of the best use of bass I’ve ever heard! (Kudos to Yehuda McKay) Drums? Yeah, they’re there and awesome. But, prog drums are always awesome, so I’m glad to see that the trend continues here. The only other thing that feels standard are the vocals. They aren’t anything ground breaking, but I wasn’t looking for groundbreaking so it all works out fine there.

There’s not much to say about this demo that I haven’t already touched on or that you couldn’t already gather. It came completely out of left field and rocked my socks off. But if you really want me to gripe about something, I’ll give you this: I was expecting something a bit more “weird”. But that’s not an official gripe.

Overall: Every riff is a combination of thick and catchy. Every lyric is dripping with THC and acid. Every bash of the brass is one that will stay with you after the demo stops playing.   Everything about this offering is genius! Plain and simple. If you like bands that stick to their guns and play shit that isn’t exactly what people think that it should be, then Masonic Weird/Martyred Whitmans is just for you!

10/10

Masonic Weird On Facebook
Martyred Whitmans On Facebook 

Genre: Nu-Metal, Industrial, Rock
Label: Independent

I’ll admit it… that’s one creepy looking album cover.

Other than that, what can I really say about this album? Well, it’s definitely an album. There’s music on it. When you put it in a device that plays CDs, sounds come out of the attached speakers. That’s good, right?

Man, I really don’t want to be mean or to rag on these guys because I can tell that they poured their hearts and souls into this album, but I just can’t get into it. Everything about Another Failure In The Making just seems like it missed the boat by about ten years. I have a feeling that if this came out around 2000-ish, I might of been in to it and/or knew some guys that would of been into it.

There are moments of fun and whatnot hidden between the banal song writing and repetitiveness. The vocalist really seems to enjoy his style of screaming. You can really hear the boiling anger just seething behind every word. And I can’t really complain too much about a band that writes a catchy jump riff like the same three or four recycled through this album… argh. I guess I can. Sorry.

I should note that the only reason I gave this album/band the multiple genre distinction, is because I just couldn’t pin down what these guys were aiming for, not because they took three different genres and melded them together coherently. Because they didn’t. Each track sounds pretty much like a carbon copy of the track before it. Well, there is the exception of I Hope You Die In A Car Crash. There’s a bouncy, upbeat tempo and blues guitar portions to it that makes it the standout track of Another Failure In The Making.

Overall: While Another Failure In The Making isn’t exactly that, it isn’t really something I can get behind either. The whole angsty, angry at everything mentality isn’t really my thing anymore. But if it is yours and you enjoy albums that contain the same song played about eleven times over, then Another Failure In The Making is custom made for you!

5/10

Another Failure Official
Another Failure On Facebook 

Genre: Doom, Sludge
Label: Independent

FIVEWILLDIE (Five Will Die, FWD, 5WD) have been one of my favorite bands ever since Funeral Rain Zine was a shitty hole on MySpace. These Irish lads were one of the first bands I hooked up with and ever since then I’ve been wanting to hear more from them. And now I have. And wow.

Worth & Soul is a killer doom album, perfect for fans of faster, angrier doom. Elements of death metal and hardcore are all over the place, with slow breakdowns and beatdowns. If you’re expecting a Katatonia or My Dying Bride here, you’re looking in the wrong direction. Instead what you’ll get is a face full of fists. Tracks take an anti-Christian bend as well, in a more atheistic way, and some spots (especially in “Seeds”) are even reminiscent of Tool.

The album itself starts with “Wrecks of Men”, which features Andy’s roar right from the start, going straight for the eyes. The riffage is slow, deep and solid. Perfect for headbanging while pounding your fist on the patch-laden vest of the bloke in front of you in the pit. The general feel really doesn’t change, but “Nothing Against Your Conscience” does slow it down even further for a time to get you ready for the next assault. “Sons of Horus” is just fucking vicious, viscous doom, and “Great Minds and Fools” keeps it up. “Blood and Soil” is one of those songs that I can see getting covered by other bands. It’s slower than your grandmother driving and just as scary. “Blame the Martyr” takes on a more classic doom feel at the start, then brings in that FWD flavor with tons of crunchy broken noses; one of the best tracks on the album. “Seeds” takes the same route, with a clean guitar at the start and some asskicking through the rest, with a slow and clean spot in the middle to breathe for a moment. The pit stays slow again for the final track, the title track “Worth & Soul”, a time to wipe the blood and sweat from your face and finish off another pair of beers before heading into the night.

So needless to say, FIVEWILLDIE have outdone themselves. Worth & Soul is by far their best work, and hopefully indicative of where they will be headed in the future. A fucking masterpiece, I’ll be spinning this shit for years to come.
10 out of 10.

03 Sons Of Horus by Five Will Die

FIVEWILLDIE on Facebook.

When: September 3, 2011
Where: Pawn Shop, Edmonton, Alberta

When presented with the opportunity to go to see the Black Path of America Tour with Vreid, Kampfar, and Necronomicon, I was honestly at first not really excited. I’ve been burnt out on live shows to some extent, but I decided to go anyway because I hadn’t heard either Vreid or Kampfar, despite getting the opportunity to get promos for review. Mrs. Blaspheme was also a little on the pensive side, mostly because it was going to be an early show (5 PM) and that meant she had to get off work early and screw around that way.

But we do our thing, go to the venue, wait a little with tanks for both of us, and the show begins with Civil Savage, a local black/death group I’d never heard. But they looked familiar. Most of the members I’ve seen attending shows before, with their bassist very familiar: he’s also the bassist for Sonorous Odium. These guys were pretty fucking good, too! A good mix of black and death, with an original sound (meaning not hypersymphonic or Behemoth clones). Definitely one of my favorite metal bands from Edmonton, I hope to see them again soon.

After a nice and short wait after Civil Savage, Necronomicon hit the stage. Quebec’s blackened death old schoolers are finally back in Edmonton to show us what they’ve got. And for those that are not true believers, see these guys live. And yes, I mostly mean Typhon and anyone else who think Necronomicon are Behemoth wannabes. Fuck do these guys kick ass, and they were much loved by Mrs. Blaspheme as well. For whatever reason they all reminded her of cats, with Rob the Witch and Rick reminding her of lions while Armaros seemed to be more like an ocelot. So black metal dudes that seem to be cats that are from Quebec and beyond happy to be in Edmonton again make my wife happy. The same goes for me. Playing tracks from their entire catalog, Necronomicon really amped up the crowd, playing like they were the headliner rather than an opener. They better be back soon!

Again, a wonderfully short wait later and Kampfar take the stage, using Necronomicon’s drum kit. And holy fuck was this the kind of black metal I needed to hear. True fucking Norwegian black metal with a hell of a lot of folk leanings. Blasting their way through a ton of songs, after their set I bought two of their CDs (Mare, the newest album, and Heimganng, the last one) and Vreid’s V and Necronomicon’s The Return of the Witch. The set itself was full of old and new songs apparently, and many people were screaming along with Dolk the entire time. Dolk himself was on fire, and a very gracious man, constantly thanking us for being the fans we are, as well as the rest of the band. Quite frankly, between their performance and the way the crowd responded, this could have been the end of the night. They played like absolute headliners, it was pure enjoyment for everyone involved.

After the set, when grabbing the CDs, Kampfar’s guitarist (who’s name eludes me, I feel horrible!) was hanging out. I got him to sign my copy of Mare, and he warned me he was not on the album. I asked if he minded signing anyway, if it bothered him to sign CDs he’s not on, and he said he’d be happy to sign. So he did!

Between Kampfar and Vreid there was about ten minutes, at the max. These people are so fucking professional, it’s insane.

Vreid, who I hadn’t heard before remember, got up and ready and turned the night up from ten to eleven. Norwegian black ‘n’ roll FOR THE WIN! You’d think this was the first night of the tour, not the tenth, they performed so hard so fast so awesome, it was unreal. Wicked riffs, killer solos, and a vice-tight rhythm section were paired with performers who were putting everything they had into the show, and at the end of it they were sweaty and smiling. Mrs. Blaspheme and I, up front and stage right, were right in the heart of the storm that Vreid were throwing around; a storm that the crowd responded to with a hunger for more, and Vreid responded by providing more.

I can honestly say I haven’t had that much pure FUN at a metal show before. All of the bands on the bill were awesome, and all of them said they can’t wait to get back to Canada. I know I’ll be at the front when that happens.

In all, it was a perfect night. Not only was it an early show, but and early end on a massively high point. Thanks to Civil Savage, Necronomicon, Kampfar and Vreid for coming. See you all again soon hopefully. You’ve made me love live music again!

Genre: Black Metal, Gothic, Progressive, Thrash, Doom, Your Mom
Label: Independent (But honestly shouldn‘t be)

Yet another entry in the Funeral Rain archives that start out with “I honestly didn’t know what to expect from _____…” But seriously, the ghastly cover art for Hour Of The Night Gaunts and the rude, crude and full of ‘tude approach that the lads in Vintage Flesh have on their Facebook page immediately paint them out to be wildcards capable of anything under the metal sun!

I’ve never been so dead on before. Vintage Flesh is (er… was, as they are now known as Inverticrux) capable of ANYTHING and they show it on their very last album! And while I was scanning the ‘net for intel on these guys, I managed to find nothing but iffy reviews about their “played out” and “why bother” style of metal… but what the hell do “they” know? Hour Of The Night Gaunts is a heavily complex album, full of material that any true metalhead/gothic whatsit should be drooling over by the first note!

Vocalist RayPissed chooses to go down a path that you don’t hear very often in metal of this caliber: falsetto. I’m sure a lot of you are thinking King Diamond right about now, but you’re way off. It’s more of a blackened shriek mixed with a woman in a 60’s sitcom who just saw a mouse. Now those of you who thought King Diamond are all frowny faced. But guess what? Fuck you! I like this style. It’s unique and plays off the rest of the band very well. But Mr. Pissed also manages to throw in these over the top, dramatic semi-soliloquies that HAUNT as well as entertain. Oh, and there’s some excellent growls thrown in there from time to time, generally as an accent or background vocal. At any rate, the vocals are top notch!

I’m not really sure how to continue this review since all I’m going to do is verbally jizz all over the tight musicianship and the virtual ghostly opera that goes down from begin to end. The twelve car pile up of genre melding can go from doomy funeral dirges that give way to scorching black metal riffs that make room for pseudo-power metal melodies in just one track! Substance. This album has it.

Overall: Hour Of The Night Gaunts is a fun, haunting ride from Follow Me To The Grave to While I Wandered Away With Death. If you don’t get what these spooky cats are laying down, then kindly remove the stick from betwixt yer buttocks so that I might replace it with my boot!

10/10

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