Funeral Rain Press Corps

Genres: Doom, Sludge
Label: Anthropic Records

One of my favorite labels has sent me a shiny new record! And it’s on transparent green vinyl! And it’s a fucking MONSTER of a record too!

Needless to say, I was pretty stoked to give this a spin, even on my asshole of a record player that doesn’t seem to want to send sound to the speakers properly. And for some reason, maybe because it understood the awesomeness of the vinyl, the speakers were sounding great. Thank you record player. Thank you.

Now, on to the review!

Side A is Philly’s Sadgiqacea, facestomping their way through two tracks (“The Great Divide”, “Avianizer”). Doom as doom can doom, these guys are so fucking awesome. I thought their older tracks on Bandcamp were great, but these two songs throw those into the mud. If you’re into stuff like Five Will Die, Black Tusk, Fight Amp, Bison B.C., and the Side B band Grass, you should check these guys out. If you don’t know what I’m talking about when I mention those bands, think of an angry Black Sabbath with Henry Rollins getting punched in the face by Justin Broadrick as the vocalist. 10 out of 10.

Side B is another Philly doom as fuck band, who continue to kick the shit out of their listeners and amps after Sadgiqacea leave off, who they also follow in the same vein musically. I feel sorry for stages and moshers that these guys play for, because if this is indicative of all their stuff (my first time hearing Grass), they destroy shit. Bleeding ears, noses, and knuckles all around. 10 out of 10.

Math should be obvious here. 10 out of 10.

Sadgiqacea on Facebook.
Grass on Facebook.

Genre: Death Metal, Punk

Label: Sevared Records / Comatose Music

Yay! You just don’t see enough orange on metal covers anymore.

Before Broken Gravestones came out with Let Sleeping Corpses Lie, they had a self-titled demo from 2009 that few have actually heard, so I’m as new to this project as pretty much all of you are as well. Your guess will be as good as mine as to whether or not this will be any goo… Kam Lee is going vocals? Well… let’s hope they make up for that in other ways.

We’re not off to a good start here. Let Sleeping Corpses Lie is a six song EP that features an atmospheric introduction, four original tracks and two demo tracks, one of which is a demo version of one of the four orginal songs. So… there are actually three tracks on here to give a shit about.

In case you couldn’t tell from earlier, I’m not a fan of the vocals. There’s waaaay too much distortion and digital shit in there for me to even consider them actual vocals and not synths. Why couldn’t Noel Kemper just do vocals as well as guitar and bass? He sounds better then Kam in Gruesome Stuff Relish! Speaking of Noel, he plays much slower in Broken Gravestones than I’m used to, but these are still some pretty catchy and punky riffs. However, there is this ear splitting solo in Zombies Don’t Run (EP version) that I’m guessing is supposed to be all warbly and cacophonous, but is so much so that it just plain sounds bad. The down turned punkish tempo is probably what gives this EP the zeal and appeal that made me give it a higher score that I originally thought it’d get.

Overall: I dug this EP more than I thought I was going to. Kam Lee’s vocals are ridiculously horrendous, but he gets the job done, I guess. Thank the Maker for the clean up job that Noel Kemper and David Arias pull off instrumentally. Though, I guess it would be hard to royally fuck-up punky death metal. But hey, the cover is orange! That’s pretty cool!

7.5/10

Broken Gravestones On MySpace

Genre: Progressive, Groove, Speed, Heavy Metal, Psychedelic

Label: Independent

Must… not… make… anymore… SeaQuest… jokes!

I was introduced to this band through a Battle Of The Bands concert that I attended about a half a year ago. They blew me away with their raw talent and unique approach to progressive metal. Not to mention, they were the only band that night that didn’t even remotely sound like any of the other bands (a big ol’ plus since the rest were mostly Panteracore). Come to find out, the bassist/part-time vocalist Ethan Slayton (that is one METAL name!) is a  counter jockey at my local comic book shop, Things From Another World. After a hour or two long conversation about everything from Venture Brothers to Hawkwind to Identity Crisis, I mentioned that I’d be happy to review any material that The Deep Sea Vents would have floating around out there. Happy to oblige, Ethan led me Into The Deep…

Starting off this four song EP is the song Dead Indian Highway, a song title that I thought I heard them shouting when I was washing the dishes and thought to myself, “Now, that can’t be right?” Sure enough, it was. Into The Deep has a running theme of nautical nightmares and other Lovecraftian/check under your bed related stuff (in case you couldn’t tell by the song titles and whatnot) that fits in very well with their brand of what the fuckery style metal.

The vocals vary in terms of quality. When they’re the straight forward Mastodonic yells, they work a-ok. But when they try to branch off into a more extreme vein, they falter a bit. The guitars on the other hand, do absolutely no fucking wrong! Riff after crushing riff leaps out of those twelve combined strings and deafen the listener with awesome! The same can be said about the bass. These are probably some of the most intricate and ballsy licks that I’ve heard since the last Peter Vink project! Then at last, we come to the kit. Drummer Dakota must smoke a lot of fucking weed! His style is reminiscent of Orange Goblin, Karma To Burn and even a little bit of Six Feet Under, so I digs ‘em! Instrumentally, The Deep Sea Vents have it goin’ on! This EP has about a zillion things running around in every direction, in every dimension. So if you want to run your ears through a (sub)Marine bootcamp that’s 20,000 leagues under the sea, then Into The Deep should be right up your alley!

Overall: The Deep Sea Vents offer up an EP that’s full of innovative riffs, bombastic drumming and shroom inspired lyrics that are guaranteed to make you ask the question, “Who’d win in a knife fight, The Kraken or Sauron from The Savage Land?”

We’re gonna need a bigger boat!

9/10

The Deep Sea Vents On Reverbnation

The Deep Sea Vents On Facebook

Genre: Pagan Folk Metal
Label: Napalm Records

Oh Arkona. Where else can an accordion and flute sound so fucking metal? Throw in lightning fast guitars, bass, and drums to create a most unusual – and thoroughly enjoyable – experience.
Despite not having a clue as to what’s being said (it’s all in Arkona’s native Russian), I’m sure the lyrical content is just as epic as the vocals themselves. Sung by Masha, who’s impressive vocals are somewhat chant-like, and hypnotic at times. Her death growls are awesome, and truthfully I thought they were done by one of the men in the band.
The EP itself is to prepare fans of Arkona for a new full length, coming out soon. It’s got a couple new tracks, including “Skal”, which features Varg and an acoustic version of the title track off their last LP, Goi, Rode, Goi! It’s probably not essential unless you’re a big fan, or a more inexpensive way to introduce yourself to the music of Arkona, but I definitely recommend it.
7 out of 10.

Arkona on Facebook.

Genre: Death Metal, Deathcore

Label: Metal Blade

You know, maybe I was too hard on these lads when I reviewed their live performance with The Ocean and Cephalic Carnage. Maybe I was just put off by the heat and smell of ass that an overcrowded venue tends to permeate. Maybe… just maybe… I’m ready to give these guys another chance at winning me back.

Ok Gloom, let’s see what you’ve got to offer me…

::Fifteen minutes and thirty seconds later…::

FUCK!!! It’s still shit! Well polished, brutal, catchy shit!

…goddamn, I’m confused. I’m pretty sure that I don’t very much like what I’m hearing, but I honestly can’t stop listening to it. Jonny Davy’s vocals are just as mundane as ever and the lyrics all but scream mediocrity. But try as I might, I can’t fault the drumming. That skin punishment (in any of their release that I’ve heard) always gets my head banging. And before I forget (be it on purpose or out of simple retardation) the guitars are pure riff madness! Four tracks, innumerable amounts catchiness. ::Sigh::

Argh! I keep bouncing back and forth from, “Yeah. It’s actually pretty good.” to, “Fuck! Why am I listening to this fucking thing again?!” and it’s about to drive me crazy! I mean, there’s not a single original thing about this release! It sounds like Job For A Cowboy. If somebody was driving down the road, doing sixty while I was waiting for a bus, the bass alone would make me go, “That dumbass speeder was listening to Job For A Cowboy!” What kind of foul magic spell was cast upon this EP to make this review so damned perplexing?

Overall: I’m almost ashamed to say it, but I guess I enjoyed this EP. It’s probably what a lot of you are anticipating/dreading you’ll hear blaring out of Hot Topic as you make your way to Auntie Anne’s Pretzels. But for all its head scratching faults, it was still entertaining. And overall, that’s what I really ask of my metal.

7/10

Job For A Cowboy Official

Job For A Cowboy On Facebook