Funeral Rain Press Corps

Genre: Atmospheric, Black Metal, Rock, Pop
Label: Eisenwald

This is going to sound horrible right off the bat but please, just give it a few seconds to sink in; What if someone took the might and savagery out of Thrall, replaced it with something resembling a metallic version of Coldplay and managed to keep the wicked black metal edge to most of it? If any of you are left after that (including you, Tim), the answer is easily one of the most unique musical experiences I’ve had since starting the reviewing game all of those years ago!

There is a metric TON of genre melding going on within these six tracks. Everything from relatively simple, yet catchy hard rock riffs to clean vocals and synthy pop keys to banshee wailing and back again can be heard in right here in this EP. It might be a tad overwhelming or just considered aimless to some folks, but I found it to be morbidly captivating. I kept finding myself thinking the same thing over and over again, “This shouldn’t be.” Meaning, these musical elements should never of been mixed! Germ’s sole member… (get ready for it) Germ, is toying with the very essence of what makes popular music popular and metal music that which must live underground! He’s taking those irrefutable elements and making them his own personal soundboard, not to mention, taking a gigantic risk with the possibility of alienating his audiences… and I absolutely LOVE that.

If there was one thing that I had to gripe about, it’s the oldie but goodie “length” complaint. This EP was too damned short! How dare you tease me with such a brilliant yet stingy offering! Damn you Germ!

Overall: Taking a risk on Loss is nowhere near the risk that was taken to bring it to you! Loss is a one of a kind outing that will leave you wondering what the future holds for Germ, metal and music as a whole.

9.5/10

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Germ On Soundcloud 

-  Typhon

Genre: Progressive Metal
Label: CynNormal Lab Recordings

If the guys from Cynic and Gigan took a truckload of Ritalin before hitting the recording studio, I believe that the end result would sounds something like Abnormal Thought Patterns’s debut EP.

Since I brought it up, I think that if you were able to transmute Abnormal Thought Patterns music into pill from, you’d be left with a highly addictive psychotropic narcotic. Eases the pain by passing through the aural barrier and into the blood and brain barriers. Effective for clearing up a shitty day at work or whatever else is ailing you. Unfortunately, you can’t just stop listening to it. You’ll have to finish the seven track dose or else you’ll go through horribly horrible withdrawals! So do yourself a favor and listen to the whole damned EP and pass over the pain.

Getting back on track, Abnormal Thought Patterns is technical. The two aforementioned bands are decent comparisons in terms of overall sound. But ATP does it all with a certain panache. Primarily the kind were you decide to be an instrumental four piece technical/progressive metal outfit. (Where’s the marketability?  <— F!O!A!D!) Luckily for us, these guys know what they’re doing and who their audience is and they show it by playing with a gusto reserved for hardcore veterans of the genre with finger breaking tech riffs and hyper hammering drumwork exploding out of every track! Even the bass gets it’s fair shot at glory! That just doesn’t happen enough nowadays, am I right?

Unlike other EPs where I always end up bitching about how I was teased with only a little bit of what is to come in the future, Abnormal Thought Patterns went ahead and made sure that you not only got a pretty damned good taste of what these guys are all about, but also that you wouldn’t be teased at all. Sure the EP runs around twenty minutes or so, but there’s enough meat on the bones to slate your progressive hunger.

As for the Cons tally, we have an oldie but a validie: the EP tends to get a little on the repetitive side. The end of each track (minus the bass solo track, Ulnar Nerve Damage which is amazingly good!) sounds enough like the beginning of each track to trigger deja vu. But when they’re playing mind melting progressive riffs throughout, is a little repetition gonna kill ya? …didn’t think so.

Overall: Abnormal Thought Patterns debut EP is a mircoburst of progressive genius! I don’t normally use the word “fun” in my reviews, but it’s hard to deny that there is a whole lot of fun to be had in this offering. And even though it’s a relatively short outing, there is more than enough evidence on these seven tracks to let you know what the inevitable album will be like. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Scott Mosher had a hand in this somewhere…

9.5/10

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Genre: Power Metal
Label: Independent

Few things put a wider smile on my face than receiving a package in the mail that contains pure, unadulterated power metal! I guess that the guys in Dawn Of Valor knew that I was feeling a little down a few days ago since they sent me an EP containing three solid track of just that! And guess what? I’m all fucking smiles once again!

I dug Dawn Of Valor’s self titled 2010 demo enough to give it an 8/10 rating. Upon listening to it again after listening to Immortal Flame, I’ve noticed that all of the improvement that the band made where due in part to a line-up change. Now, this is kind of shocking to me since I’m a guy who doesn’t like changes being applied to things I enjoy (which is one of the reasons why it took me so long to watch David Tennant’s run on Doctor Who after Christopher Eccleston was the lead. I’m so glad I did though! Same with Matt Smith… this tangent went on longer than it should of…).

When I heard that they switched out vocalists, I was more than bummed since I really liked Sean Iredale’s vocal style… but that lasted all of two seconds after Jaden Adair kicked in with some pretty badass power vocals! Similar cheers can be made for Joe Waller’s frantic drumming and Andrew Johnson’s axemanship. And after all was said and done, I consider the roster update a resounding success!

I don”t normally single out songs and praise/bitch about them in my reviews (I’ve been told that I should do it more often), but Immortal Flame makes it hard not to with Valkyrie Sky. This track is pure power metal perfection! Heavy, melodic, mid-tempo to start and then cuts loose into a bitchin’ solo that, if you’re not ready for it could send you straight to Valhalla! Also, this genre is riddled with shitty lyricism, so mad props to John Leibel for stitching this masterpiece together.

Oh, and the icing on this already scrumptiously fattening cake of powah? The closing track, There Can Be Only One is about… shit, do I really have to tell you? …although, maybe I should since that series is plagued with towering mountains of bullshit that might throw some people off. The song based on the first Highlander flick and it does this particular sacred cow more justice than ANY of the sequels!

Gripe Time (Don’t worry, the list is short.): Ugh! Again with precious time being eaten up by a spoken word intro track! PEEVE! And as much as I enjoy the new stylistic changes to the guitar scheme, I’m a little off put by the solo in Lutetium. It comes off sloppy and maybe a little forced.

Overall: Other than those little ol’ complaints, I can say with my head held high that this EP fucking owns! Here’s to this Immortal Flame burning forever! Cheers!

9/10

Dawn Of Valor Official 
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Abyss Records is pleased to announce the recent signing of Sweden’s Carnivore. Plans are in place for the label to re-release a limited edition version of the band’s EP Faces of Death in early 2012. Carnivore is set to enter the studio in December of this year to record their full-length debut, which will be out sometime next year. Faces of Death is currently streaming on the band’s SoundCloud page.

Carnivore Live Dates:

1/5 – Slaughterhouse – Växjö, Sweden
3/31 – Garf – Växjö, Sweden
TBA – Tilbakakaka Festival
TBA – Säljeryd Festival
5/19 – 5/20 Westbay Heaven n Hell Festival

Bio:

Carnivore was formed in 2010 when a former project of three of the members, called Beyond Hell, underwent major line-up changes and decided to make a new start. The band played several local shows during 2010 and in 2011 they recorded a three-song EP called Faces of Death. Faces of Death was released on June 1st, and sold out in 2 hours.
Carnivore‘s musical style is based on old school elements with a modern and progressive touch, as well as an philosophical and occult lyrical element.

Daniel Ocic Sundberg – Vocals
Tobias Pettersson – Guitar
Jonas Davidsson – Guitar
Cedrik Petersson – Bass
Marcus Nieminen – Drums

Genre: Stoner Metal
Label: Independent

I’d just like to start of this review by saying that a lesser band would of wrote me off as a hack or complete ballbag for labeling them as “Brutal Queercore” while questioning what the band’s moniker, “Pinkzilla” meant. (Thanks for the second chance guys!) After blowing my mind with their 2010 demo, Pinkzilla has set the bar pretty fucking high for themselves. Can this big gay lizard make the leap? Let’s read on…

It should be noted that only three of these songs are made up of new material. The other three are re-recordings… holy shit! They’re good ones too!

All the old influences are present in this debut, self-titled album: Black Sabbath, Orange Goblin, Blue Cheer (the colors man! THE COLORS!!!) and the like. So basically, you’ve got yourself a smorgasbord of slammin’ stonery-sludge metal! Vocalist/Guitarist Skyler Wells does an outstanding job at the front of the line, barking out chemically induced insanity with the efficiency of a cattle auctioneer while slinging some pretty wicked riffs ad nauseum! The same can be said about Nate Overholser’s bass work. There is just enough funk in between these slammin’ lines for all of his material to be deemed, “Stonerific” (according to my fiance). And then we come to the drums… yes. Simply, yes. I swear, every time I listen to this album, my heart finds a way to match the beat to each song!

Gah! Gastronaut is the worst song ever! C’mon guys! You’re seriously gonna put a song about the tastiest stoner snacks in the whole of existence at the end of your album that you practically dare people to puff, puff, pass to!? FUCK YOU PINKZILLA!!! This costs you half a point!

(…I have no food in my house at the moment)

Overall: An improvement in every conceivable way! Pinkzilla is easily one of the best unsigned acts that I’ve heard all year and I’m sure you’ll agree once you pick up this album!

9.5/10

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