Füneral Rain Press Cörps

Genre: Folk Metal, Power Metal
Label: Independent

Hailing from Minnesota, the Minos have their work cut out for them with their debut album, MMXI. Why does their state of origin extra pressure from the metal community at large? Easy: Minnesota is a state that really loves what it loves. Football? That’s uber serious shit there. Food? The more German or Scandinavian, the better. I can only imagine that Minnesotan metalheads take their music pretty damned seriously too. Also, with the ever growing popularity of Alestorm, Swashbuckled and even a resurgence of attention being paid to Running Wild, I’ve already had people tell me that, “that shit is gay” after I played a track or two from them off of MMXI. How bothersome, right?

Listen, I love Alestorm though, not as much as I love Running Wild mind you. The point is, Minos stand on their own without being a carbon copy of other bands that may or may not be trying to cash in on the (hopefully dying soon) pirate fad.

Vocalist Jason Hickman has the perfect voice for this kinda of thing. His clean vocals are more gruff than melodic and even manages to belt out a healthy/bluesy yell or roar every few songs. A perfect example of using something in moderation that EVERYONE else overuses. Another example to show you how hard these guys rock: guitarist Joe Waller (of Dawn Of Valor) cuts loose in a completely different fashion that I was used to being the Dawn Of Valor fan that I am. Excellent hooks, memorable riffs and the like are to be heard all over this gem of an album.

Moving away from the instrumentation for a minute, I’d like to draw attention to the lyrics. Minos essentially drops you into a high fantasy world with vengeful forest spirits, treason and of course, pirates. These are easily some of the best lyrics I’ve ever heard in metal.

Yes, there are a few songs on MMXI that are completely about being a pirate. But only a couple and the fucking kill! Case in point: Pirate Soul. I caught myself getting too into this song when I shouted, “become on of them, OR DIE AT THE MAST!!!” in what I thought to be an empty parking lot. Turns out a few homeless dudes heard me make an ass outta myself since I sound nothing like Hickman.

Overall: Minos is a band to watch out for in the coming years. They may seem like a bunch of scene hoppers at first glace, but I assure you that if you slow down, take a deep breath and pull that stick out of your ass, I can say that you’ll love this album as much as I do.

9.5/10

Minos On Facebook 

Genre: Industrial Metal
Label: AFM/13th Planet Records
Format: Digital Stream (Earsplit PR)

I’ve gone through this digital promo a couple times now, and one thing is really sticking out for me: it kicks ass! Grinding industrial slammed into grinding metal with lyrics that range from Al’s troubles in the industry (“Ghouldiggers”), voter apathy (“Get Up, Get Out and Vote”), the Occupy Movement (“99 Percenters”) the end of the world (“Relapse”), and more. The album is a veritable gold mine for topical discussion, and many of it will not be dated for years from now.
Riff-wise, it’s pretty much standard Ministry style, somewhat simplistic and repetitive, but not to the point of boring. Perfect stuff to bang the noggin to. If you’ve never experienced the Ministry sound, you’re missing out. There’s nothing like them. Old fans will love this album, and in some instances they may even think it’s the best so far. Al has never sounded so good vocally, and with Tony Campos running the bass this time around, there’s a definite more industrial touch to it, but with an organic feel behind the scenes.
When this hits the streets, you need to grab a copy of it.
8.5 out of 10.

Relapse Tracklisting:
1. Ghouldiggers
2. Double Tap
3. Freefall
4. Kleptocracy
5. United Forces
6. 99 Percenters
7. Relapse
8. Weekend Warrior
9. Get Up Get Out n Vote
10. Bloodlust
11. Relapse Defibrillator Mix

Relapse Personnel:
Al Jourgensen
Mike Scaccia
Tommy Victor
John Bechdel
Tony Campos
Aaron Rossi

Genre: Progressive Metal
Label: Independent

I’m going to start off this review by asking a very simple question: WHY THE FUCK ISN’T SCOTT MOSHER A HOUSEHOLD NAME YET?!?!?!

Seriously though, why don’t more people worship at The Alters of Mosher? The guy has been kicking around about the progressive metal scene since 1996 and I think I maybe know one other person who has ever had the pleasure of hearing Mosher’s genius! It’s MADDENING!!!

Anyway, Oceans Of Night is the official team moniker of previously mentioned guitar virtuoso Scott Mosher, vocalist extraordinaire Scott Oliva and new kid on the kit, Alan Smithee. And after the critical praise they received for The Shadowheart Mirror, it’s no surprise that they’re back and ready to drown us all in an ocean of progressive metal with Domain.

If any of you out there are familiar with Arjen A. Lucassen, then you’ll feel right at home with Mosher’s calmingly ethereal one minute, hellish thunderstorm of sonic destruction style of powerful progressive axemanship. If you’re not, then this will all be new to you and I envy you since you’re listening to unadulterated AWESOME for the first time. Not to be outshone (which could of easily happened to anyone else) Mr. Oliva sits comfortably in the forefront, belting out pan-dimensional lyrics with one of the more powerful voices that progressive music has to offer.  The only time you aren’t in Oliva’s godlike presence is during Instruments Of Fear, where Mosher and Smithee tear shit up for a little over four minutes. A bitchin’ instrumental track if there ever was one before! And last but not least, Smithee. How we ever got along without you prior to this, I’ll never now. His three balls out method of beating is unrivaled in this realm, unquestioned. You would be hard up trying to match his talent with anyone else in progressive music today… well, there IS Ed Warby. But that’s one hell of a complement if you ask me!

It may seem like I’m ejaculating all over this band purely in the name of fandom, but I assure you that I’m being 100% serious with my opinions in this review. I love this group that much! And honestly, so should you!

Overall: Domain is pure, uncut, unrefined Colombian (er, New Yorkian) progression perfection! It’s every bit as good as The Shadowheart Mirror and everything anyone could of asked for from Oceans Of Night! Easily one of the best albums of 2011!

10/10

Oceans Of Night Official  
Oceans Of Night On Facebook

Genre: Power Metal
Label: Independent

Few things put a wider smile on my face than receiving a package in the mail that contains pure, unadulterated power metal! I guess that the guys in Dawn Of Valor knew that I was feeling a little down a few days ago since they sent me an EP containing three solid track of just that! And guess what? I’m all fucking smiles once again!

I dug Dawn Of Valor’s self titled 2010 demo enough to give it an 8/10 rating. Upon listening to it again after listening to Immortal Flame, I’ve noticed that all of the improvement that the band made where due in part to a line-up change. Now, this is kind of shocking to me since I’m a guy who doesn’t like changes being applied to things I enjoy (which is one of the reasons why it took me so long to watch David Tennant’s run on Doctor Who after Christopher Eccleston was the lead. I’m so glad I did though! Same with Matt Smith… this tangent went on longer than it should of…).

When I heard that they switched out vocalists, I was more than bummed since I really liked Sean Iredale’s vocal style… but that lasted all of two seconds after Jaden Adair kicked in with some pretty badass power vocals! Similar cheers can be made for Joe Waller’s frantic drumming and Andrew Johnson’s axemanship. And after all was said and done, I consider the roster update a resounding success!

I don”t normally single out songs and praise/bitch about them in my reviews (I’ve been told that I should do it more often), but Immortal Flame makes it hard not to with Valkyrie Sky. This track is pure power metal perfection! Heavy, melodic, mid-tempo to start and then cuts loose into a bitchin’ solo that, if you’re not ready for it could send you straight to Valhalla! Also, this genre is riddled with shitty lyricism, so mad props to John Leibel for stitching this masterpiece together.

Oh, and the icing on this already scrumptiously fattening cake of powah? The closing track, There Can Be Only One is about… shit, do I really have to tell you? …although, maybe I should since that series is plagued with towering mountains of bullshit that might throw some people off. The song based on the first Highlander flick and it does this particular sacred cow more justice than ANY of the sequels!

Gripe Time (Don’t worry, the list is short.): Ugh! Again with precious time being eaten up by a spoken word intro track! PEEVE! And as much as I enjoy the new stylistic changes to the guitar scheme, I’m a little off put by the solo in Lutetium. It comes off sloppy and maybe a little forced.

Overall: Other than those little ol’ complaints, I can say with my head held high that this EP fucking owns! Here’s to this Immortal Flame burning forever! Cheers!

9/10

Dawn Of Valor Official 
Dawn Of Valor  On Facebook

Genre: Stoner Metal
Label: Independent

I’d just like to start of this review by saying that a lesser band would of wrote me off as a hack or complete ballbag for labeling them as “Brutal Queercore” while questioning what the band’s moniker, “Pinkzilla” meant. (Thanks for the second chance guys!) After blowing my mind with their 2010 demo, Pinkzilla has set the bar pretty fucking high for themselves. Can this big gay lizard make the leap? Let’s read on…

It should be noted that only three of these songs are made up of new material. The other three are re-recordings… holy shit! They’re good ones too!

All the old influences are present in this debut, self-titled album: Black Sabbath, Orange Goblin, Blue Cheer (the colors man! THE COLORS!!!) and the like. So basically, you’ve got yourself a smorgasbord of slammin’ stonery-sludge metal! Vocalist/Guitarist Skyler Wells does an outstanding job at the front of the line, barking out chemically induced insanity with the efficiency of a cattle auctioneer while slinging some pretty wicked riffs ad nauseum! The same can be said about Nate Overholser’s bass work. There is just enough funk in between these slammin’ lines for all of his material to be deemed, “Stonerific” (according to my fiance). And then we come to the drums… yes. Simply, yes. I swear, every time I listen to this album, my heart finds a way to match the beat to each song!

Gah! Gastronaut is the worst song ever! C’mon guys! You’re seriously gonna put a song about the tastiest stoner snacks in the whole of existence at the end of your album that you practically dare people to puff, puff, pass to!? FUCK YOU PINKZILLA!!! This costs you half a point!

(…I have no food in my house at the moment)

Overall: An improvement in every conceivable way! Pinkzilla is easily one of the best unsigned acts that I’ve heard all year and I’m sure you’ll agree once you pick up this album!

9.5/10

Pinkzilla On Facebook