Funeral Rain Press Corps

Genre: Hardcore, Metal, Punk, Fucking Fun!
Label: Independent

It’s been a while, but hitting play on Seizure Crypt’s latest testament to the D.I.Y. lifestyle, You’ve Been Had, is like reconnecting with an old friend. That may seem weird to anyone who knows about my older reviews (back at E-Metal Reviews/E-MetalSpace) of their albums, Hello My Name Is… MADNESS and Under The Gun since I barely gave the first one a chance and said that the second, “only kind of sucks”. But here, wherever I am and in whatever year this is, I’ve grown older and wiser. And guess what? I think I’ve spent enough time in the Crypt to understand what these motherfuckers are all about!

Where to start…

Well, I guess I can address the fact that this album does, in fact, sound like it was recorded using Do It Yourself methods, but by guys who’ve been doing this sort of thing for a while. Yeah, the sound can be a little rough and grainy at times, but Seizure Crypt seems to know how to tweak it to their advantage. That or their music is so full of “FUCK YOU!” that even sound itself bent the laws of physics to accommodate their hardcore lifestyles! I’m going to go with that last one.

Normally, you don’t go into a Seizure Crypt album thinking that it’s going to be a mindblowingly awesome experience with complex riffs and off-time drumming… and this album is no exception. It’s just simple but entertainingly aggressive punk/hardcore tunes that will be the perfect soundtrack to a wild and drunken night of slamming people through bar furniture! Also note that both vocalists give there all to shout, bark and psychotically rant their message at you in the scuzziest, most street level way possible! It has become a matter of charm at this point, believe it or not.

I’ll probably be cutting this review short since my hard-on for these guys keeps growing and I can’t bring myself to understand why exactly… The guys in Seizure Crypt do what they do because they love to do it. If more bands were like this, then there would be better music all around for everybody!

Overall: I’ve since gone back and listened to my other two Seizure Crypt albums and I can safely say that You’ve Been Had is the best offering to date. If you’re a fan of the D.I.Y. spirit, pick up this album (and maybe the others later) and bang your skull until that gray mush come out! And remember, “Life is not a fad you fucking poser!” Throw yourself into the Crypt!

8/10

-  Typhon

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Genre: Brutal Death Metal
Label: Comatose Music

I’ve always tried desperately to steer away from over using the ever popular descriptor “Brutal” but I believe it will prove to be quite difficult since I’m fairly certain that metal Spaniard Carlos Mejias may have helped write the book on it! I guess it’s no surprise since this one man wrecking project that goes by the name of Thirst Of Revenge resides in the ranks of Comatose Music.

Right off the bat, one this is made abundantly clear: Carlos knows how to work the set. His drumming is impeccable and is easily the best anything on this album. Past that, we have those throat decimating growls. Sure, they’re brutal as fuck and if I ran into this guy in a dark alley and he demanded that I give him my wallet in that growl, I’d give it to him without a second thought, but he may as well just be speaking in monotone since there is close to zero variation in his style aside from the occasion pig squeal. His guitar work consists of wrist fracturing speed riffs that while cogent, manage to get lost in the mix during some tracks.

But let’s hold up for a second and discuss something similar to my introduction for a moment: is there such a thing as “too much brutality”? I didn’t really think so… until I listened to Annihilation Of Races. You read that right folks! This album is TOO BRUTAL!!! Too brutal to be taken seriously. Too brutal to be admired by the snobbish metal elite (I can say whatever I want about them since I know they’d NEVER read anything from this site. Fuckers) and just a bit too brutal to be excellent. For now, I hope that Mister Mejias will be okay with a meager ”great” from this lowly journalist.

The spirit of death metal is clearly present throughout the length of Annihilation Of Races and for that, you can’t really fault this guy. I know I don’t. He poured his being into this project and you need only to listen to a few seconds of this album to know this.

Overall: This album is a practice in understanding moderation. Carlos Mejias either doesn’t quite understand how to or just doesn’t care to cut back on the heavy and low in exchange for some finesse or maybe even some technique. It’s really not a bad album, it just doesn’t take itself seriously, so why should any of you? But if brutality is your thing (you know who you are) then Annihilation Of Races is what you need to scratch that itch.

8/10

Thirst Of Revenge On ReverbNation
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Genre: Thrash, Metalcore
Label: Elephantine Records 

I’ve been waiting four years for this album to come my way! I reviewed 18 Wheels Of Justice’s Deceive Them All back in 2007 and have been drooling for their next album ever since (I think their superb cover of The Trooper helped grease those wheels). After several failed attempts to receive one through the mail, I opted for the MP3 format. And now, my four year wait is over! Here we go…

Immediately, Execution eclipses Deceive Them All in all conceivable arenas. The songwriting is sturdier. The fast riffing is even faster. The thrash is fucking thrashier! I can’t really add much to this review on a musical analysis level. If you heard their last album, just take everything that might of been a little loose and tighten it up until you’re afraid it’s gonna snap, then add a fresh coat of paint and attach CO2 canisters to it and you’ve got this album in a nutshell.

Vocalist and new kid on board, Adam Sloan has a much wider range of vocal styles than Steve Justice. Adam has the hardcore shouting deal down alright and even throws out a shrill shriek every once in a while. But occasionally his growling tends to waver and wobble and it’s a bit distracting. Other than that, I can’t complain about his performance and I welcome and accept him into the family.

I should also mention that Deceive Them All was mostly metalcore in musical direction, regardless of what you might of heard elsewhere. Execution is Deceive Them All’s polar opposite in terms of ratio. This time it’s 25% metalcore and 75% thrash which will hopefully expose these guys to a wider audience of Thrasholes!

Overall: A thrashy overhaul and a new vocalist make Execution a clear improvement over their last album. And while I wouldn’t recommend this album to everyone I know, I’d still recommend it to a shit-ton of them!

8/10

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Genre: Power, Heavy Metal
Label: Century Media

Would you like to hear something funny? I never cared for Iced Earth. Never. I heard a couple of tracks off of Something Wicked This Way Comes and read a couple of interviews with Jon Schaffer (man, what a DOUCHE!) and that was enough for me. But, here I am. Face-to-face with a review that I promised that I’d do even though I really don’t wanna.

At the end of the title track/album opener, I could tell that I was going to have to write some things that are going to have my friends telling me, “I told you so!” Ugh…

Moving into track two, Anthem, Mr. Schaffer cuts loose and mows me down with some dumbfoundingly catchy (re: awesome) riffs! I’m almost ready to take back everything I’ve ever said about Iced Earth, so let’s hope they keep this awesomeness up…

Another tally in the “Pro” side is when new vocalist Stu Block isn’t trying to sound like Matt Barlow or Tim Owens with the high notes, he barrows from the book of Chuck Billy with an almost hardcore bellow. That’s not counting out his own style of clean vocals either. They aren’t great per se, but they do fit where they appear, like in one of the more somber tracks entitled, Anguish Of Youth. And since I don’t have the handicap of being a rabid fan like most of you freaks, I can honestly say that I dig the combination of vocal styles.

I’ve got to hand it to these guys for putting out an album with ten tracks on it that doesn’t seem to repeat itself. I believe that it’s due in part to Brent Smedley’s drum work. Keeping the beats fresh is a tricky thing when you’re supposed to be support for the vocals and lead guitar, but Brent manages to quietly shine in the background while not pulling focus from what, I’m sure, many believe to be the star attractions.

On the Neg, those catchy riffs that Jonny Boy dishes out early on appear to be the extent of what he was willing to do for this album as after you reach the fifth track, all of his work seems to go flat like week old radiator soda. Even the solos seem hollow and phoned in. And since his ax work is what I hear about constantly, that’s enough to drag down the overall score quite a bit.

Overall: I’m still not going to run out and grab as many Iced Earth albums as I can find, but I’m not going to all out ignore them when I hear them on zee metal radios. I would recommend this album to fans of traditional metal in general, no problem.

8/10

Iced Earth Official
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Genre: Brutal Death Metal
Label: Comatose Music

With Bloodsoaked’s previous album, Sadistic Deeds… Grotesque Memories scoring a 9/10, the bar for The Death Of Hope was is set pretty damned high. Can The Death Of Hope live up to expectation? Or will it aptly destroy one of the few remaining glimmers of hope for the death metal (brutal or otherwise) genre?

The answer lies in the middle, leaning more towards the expectation. Slaughtering soloist Peter Hasselbrack can still supply the monstrous riffs and buckets of blood, guts and vagina necklaces, but there are a few areas where he seems to be lacking this time around.

For one, the vocals are actually kind of weak. An album ago, they were deep and guttural. Enough to make your hair stand on end, they were. In this album, they’re more of an easier-to-do, raspy whisper. It makes me wonder if he damaged his vocal chords between albums or somthing along those lines… aww, now I’m sad.  :(

Secondly, the richness and complexity that was Sadistic Deeds… Grotesque Memories has gone flat when the structures made the jump to this album. I mean, there are still some barbaric riffs as mentioned earlier, but everything in between comes off a little stale and sometimes repetitive.

It should be stated that even though I’m disappointed in some of these developments, they’re still loads better than what entire bands out there are putting out. Keep that in mind when you finally reach the score at the bottom.

It’s kind of weird to being saying this (hell, all the negative points in this review were especially painful to write) but I actually enjoyed what was done with the pacing of the drum programming (done by Shane McFee). Machine gunny, but just the right amount of it. No mechanized, overachieving Vinnie Paul or some shit. Also done well once again were the lyrics! It’s like you’re right there beside him as he grinds the guts of some unlucky fucker into a pink, chunky lather!

Interesting Factoid: Peter hates Call Of Duty ModernWarefare & Black Ops or at least some d-bags he played with that he lists off in the liner notes. They’re actually pretty funny too. You’ve got to respect a dude that’s 1) a gamer and 2) has enough of a sense of humor to put something like that in the liner notes of his brutal death metal album.

Overall: The Death Of Hope isn’t the best Bloodsoaked album out there, but it’s still a damn fine one. Yeah, I might of been a little disappointed with the vocal change and the decline in song structure quality, but the fire is still there. This guy still wants shit to die in the most twisted, macabre way possible and you can’t fault him on that. I still recommend this album to the fans of brutality.

8/10

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