Füneral Rain Press Cörps

Genre: Progressive, Psychedelic, Acid Rock
Label: Independent 

Man, having a baby really fucks up your schedule! I’ve been sitting on this review for so long, that Masonic Weird has changed their name to Martyred Whitmans since asking me to review their demo, Manic And Self Medicated! Apologies all around.

As soon as this demo started up, I was reminded of a band that I review waaaaaay back with E-Metal Reviews called To The Bones. I went a little overboard with praise on that review since it was my first real experience with the progressive/psychedelic sub-genres and to this day, it still creates a massive erection in my trousers whenever I’m allowed to review anything from said genres. And now that you can’t unknow that, I’m please to say that Masonic Weird’s demo is a “boner”-fied piece of doom-y progression! If you’re not familiar with To The Bones, then maybe the comparison of The Sword (sans the poser tag) meets Earth might raise an eyebrow or two (I know it did for me as I wrote that).

Now, I’ve read some reviews about this band in the past that didn’t paint them in the best of lights, so I’ll be honest and say that I wasn’t really looking forward to it… how quickly we remember not to believe everything we hear/read/see on T.V.! Seriously, I’d like to know who those guys were listening to when they wrote those reviews? Because I’m positive that it wasn’t Masonic Weird! There’s nothing “hipster” about this music! Sure, pot helps… it helps with EVERYTHING! And who the fuck isn’t gonna toke up when they’re listening to doom or prog?!

Braking down the instrumentation, the riffing is exceptional! You’re not really sure where you’re going to be lead next, but that don’t matter since it’s constantly exciting more than what you were expecting. The bass in Manic And Self Medicated is perfect. Perfect. The mixture or doom and progressive styles pretty much just left the bass roam free. The freest I’ve ever heard a bass be, in fact. In my opinion, this is some of the best use of bass I’ve ever heard! (Kudos to Yehuda McKay) Drums? Yeah, they’re there and awesome. But, prog drums are always awesome, so I’m glad to see that the trend continues here. The only other thing that feels standard are the vocals. They aren’t anything ground breaking, but I wasn’t looking for groundbreaking so it all works out fine there.

There’s not much to say about this demo that I haven’t already touched on or that you couldn’t already gather. It came completely out of left field and rocked my socks off. But if you really want me to gripe about something, I’ll give you this: I was expecting something a bit more “weird”. But that’s not an official gripe.

Overall: Every riff is a combination of thick and catchy. Every lyric is dripping with THC and acid. Every bash of the brass is one that will stay with you after the demo stops playing.   Everything about this offering is genius! Plain and simple. If you like bands that stick to their guns and play shit that isn’t exactly what people think that it should be, then Masonic Weird/Martyred Whitmans is just for you!

10/10

Masonic Weird On Facebook
Martyred Whitmans On Facebook 

Genre: Black Metal 
Label: Shaytan Productions

Look out Darkestrah, here’s another band that plays authentic middle eastern inspired black metal! And from the sounds of things… they’ve got your number! (If I ever would of finished my Top 50 Favorite Albums Of All Time list, you would of found out that Darkestrah’s The Great Silk Road is my favorite metal album of all time… but I’m lazy.)

And oh boy, do those middle eastern influences really stand out front and center! I mean, we all know that black metal kicks ass, right? Well, imagine letting some of the most deranged and, let’s face it, fascinating history dictate were and how the music itself grows and changes… pretty exciting, am I right?

The guitars are a joyous mix of typical black metal shred and progressive riffing. They mix quite well with the perfectly rendered bass (both played by Mephisto) that bangs and booms with all the might and majesty of Anu and Enlil! But then we come to the keys (oriental keys, that is)… wow. You know how sometimes you’re listening to a black metal album and you think, “Man, this is missing something.”? I swear to Marduk that these keys are it! The haunting edge they add to every song is nothing short of GENIUS! Thanks Ostron!

And how can I forget the drums? Naw, I couldn’t even if I tried! Skinsman Darius plays his way through the whole of Estorat Taghoot, mixing in your standard blackened aggression with (again) progressive beats. Last but not least, we come to the vocals. Imagine the best black metal vocals you’ve ever heard from any band. Who comes to mind? Belphagor? Immortal? Dark Throne? Yeah, add this guy. They’re perfect. That’s all I can say. (Except this: Mardus isn’t even officially in the band! Why the fuck not?!? …but to be fair, I haven’t heard the new guy’s vocals yet.)

You probably think that I’m just ejaculating all over this album for shit and giggles. But I swear to you on the highest and lowest of authorities that this album is a gift for one, the other or possibly both of those authorities…

Overall: Yeah, those are some big statements for me to make, but what choice do I have? This album is easily one of, if not the best album I’ve ever heard!

10/10

Al-Namrood On MySpace 

Ah, Shaytan Productions. You’ve been so patient with me over these past couple of months. You see, I’ve been sitting on this review for about three months now and I’m FINALLY getting around to listening to it. I don’t know why, either. It’s destructive Italian black metal with some English and German lyrics with an Egyptian theme… *whew*

With that being said, there are a lot of other things that I could say about this offering. A LOT of things. But instead, I’ll sum it all up with this simple statement: HOLY FUCKING SHIT THERE’S A LOT OF AWESOME STUFF GOING ON IN THIS EP!!!  …Ok, you’ll probably need more than that to go on, won’t you?

First off, let’s talk about those vocals. Fucking killer! Quintessential black metal vocals that range from typical shrieks to tortured throaty screams! Every bit of which is used very effectively to tell various stories about mummification, purification and the end of the world! The guitar in this is more on the minimal side of things, but is once again, used very effectively. The riffs are tuned way down low, giving us that earth rumbling, “the end is nigh” sort of feeling. During the course of Awaiting The Golden Age, I had to keep checking the sky to make sure that it was really falling or turning blood fucking red! And now, the background meat of this EP: the synths and the like. Whenever there is programming in my black metal, I tend to get a little iffy about it. “Ewww.” I think. But solo honcho Hell-IO-Kabbalus managed to make what should of been a tinny, unattractive offering into a powerhouse of auditory awesome with orchestral stings, xylophones and various strings populating this twenty one minute EP. Somehow, H-I-K made Mantra For The End Of Times feel much longer in the process as well. Not that it really matters though. You’ll probably do like I did and just keep it on repeat for a day or two, looking for and find new things to love about it many times over.

Simply epic. Every note.

Overall: This is one of those releases that you just cannot in good conscience, let people not know about and can’t seem to recommend enough. I implore you good readers (at least, those of you who even kinda like black metal), track down this EP and snatch it up! You won’t regret it!

10/10

Kalki Avatara On MySpace

Genre: Dark Ambient

Label: Shaytan Productions

Now this… is… fucking awesome! As soon as I received Jilwah (and after I read a brief description of it and separated it from it’s black metal cousins in the stack of CDs that Shaytan Productions had sent me), I popped it into my CD player, turned off the lights and plopped down on the floor. Twenty seven minutes and twenty seven seconds later I got up, hit play again and laid back down on the floor and waited for Dhul Qarnayn to work his magic one more time.

To recap, I was expecting this to be a black metal album. I was hardly disappointed to find out that it was a dark ambient single. Upon further research, I discovered that I was a split and EP too early to hear any of main man Learza’s minimalist black metal offerings. (Shucks!)

Jilwah is just a shade under a half and hour of meditative serenity, intermixed with moments of shocking turbulence that, while only lasting a few seconds at a time, makes quite the impact. They’re like spiritual potholes that test the listeners soul alignment. There are a couple of section where you come across chanting (I believe that it’s in Arabic, but don’t quote me on that) that comes off eerily soothing. They’re the only verbal anything you’ll hear through the entirety of Jilwah.

There are folksy flourishes from time to time as well. They remind me of something that you might hallucinate if you managed to get yourself lost in the desert and were succumbing to heat stroke (sunburn not included). But then, in the nick of time, you stumble upon a lush oasis. You plunge into the glimmering spring before resting in the shade of the single massive palm tree, of which you feast on it fruits that magically fall into your mouth, ready to munch… yeah, I know. I’m doing that thing again where I go off on a tangent that is more of an interpretation of what I heard rather than a review. But you know what? Bite me. Ambient music, rather GREAT ambient music makes you to crazy things to let you know how much you appreciate it!

Overall: Jilwah is immeasurably amazing! It’s everything that I’ve personally ever wanted in an ambient offering: complexity, emotion and provocation of deep meditative thought. Jilwah and Phelios’s Astrial Unity are tied from first on my top ten favorite ambient listening experience!

10/10

Dhul Qarnayn has since called it quits so no links for you!

Genre: Ambient, Perfection
Label: Loki Foundation

After the cataclysmic disaster that was Control’s Deadly Sins, I’m almost too scared to review any more ambient releases. I mean, I fell HARD for this genre and I don’t want anymore shake-ups. My fragile Piscean emotions don’t like to be toyed with…wait. Michael JV Hensley of Yen-fucking-Pox is the sole musician at the wheel of Blood Box? Folks, I think I’ve overcome my fears!

Oh good lord! Funeral In An Empty Room is every bit as compelling, thought provoking and emotionally impactful as I wished it would be. Light, almost nonexistent “noises” greet you at the beginning of every track. It’s something that really used to get on my nerves as a budding fan of the ambient genre. But when Mikey H. does something, he does it right! Those little bits of sound heighten the anticipation for the good stuff to get going. So much so that in the following tracks, you’re going to sit there in the seconds between tracks and foam at the mouth waiting for them to start welling up from the void!

Every song is covered with layers upon layers of everything from cosmic scores played by a billion piece symphony of tachyons to harsh frozen swells that morph into whirlpools of flame to hypnotic tides that splash on the base of the rocky cliffs of madness! Yeah, it’s all in there. Every track is an adventure to the edge of reality and back.

Overall: Funeral In An Empty Room is easily one of the top five best releases that I’ve heard this year! I honestly can’t believe that an airy, ethereal release in a genre like this can be so complex and dense. There is so much going on in EVERY track that your head may very well explode!

10/10
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